To which I belong?

I am Javanese. Both my father and mother are Javanese. In addition, as long as I can remember there’re no mixed bloods from any great grandparents. I was born in a small town named Boyolali, Central Java. Until Senior High School, I used to speak Javanese Language on my daily life. What a weird! When I was studying in Bandung, many friends and seniors asked me about what’s my bataknese family name. That kind of question had been asked so many times since I enrolled the collage. I didn’t know why. Was that due to my face? Emm… I didn’t know, but I didn’t think so. If you know my mother, who is a purely Javanese, you’ll see how I resemble her face. The question was not bothering much actually, but it sounded odd. Hehehe… Yeeaahhh… forget it! Hehehe… Since I married to a handsome bataknese man 2 years ago, I can handle that kind of question for I already have a bataknese family name. So, to which I belong now? I belong to both of them… :-).

A Lesson Learn From Reading Class

What a day…

I don’t know what was going on this day. All things seem to be uncomfortable. Ya… there was something bothering me. I didn’t know actually whether it was a problem or not. Unfortunately, all my suroundings seem to be abandon me (maklum, saya lagi sensitif bow... ). When I tried to tell about “the thing” to a friend, she seemed not to realize that I just need an “ear” to listen.

After finishing an-hour-banking-procedure that was required by the Scholarship Institution, I chose not to attend the “Japanese Cross Culture Class” on 1.00 p.m. I went to Margo City instead of slept in the Class due to boring. I was alone. Sometimes it is better to do something alone when there is a-gloomy-heart. After seeing movie in Platinum and searching books in Gunung Agung, I went home. I just realize that at this time, the lonely-hang-out was not helping me to recover.

I had arrived at home and turned on my laptop when I remembered about yesterday lesson in Reading Class. The teacher copied from a reading material about keys to success. One of them was focus on distinguishing between problems and facts. The teacher told that “problem is something that can be fixed. If we are dealing with a circumstance that cannot be changed or fixed, than it’s no longer a “problem”, it is a fact".

I tought deeply whether “my thing” was a problem or just a fact.

I tried quite hard to figure it out. I did both thinking through all aspects related to “the thing” and drawing a mind map (I am used to doing this such a thing in jobs). Hihihi… sok ilmiah ya bow????. After 4 hours, I felt relieve. I could say that “the thing” was just a fact and there’s nothing I can do to fix or change it.

Understanding that it’s a fact, I think there’s no reason to waste emotional energy feeling frustrated over it. So, I try not to reliant myself on unnecessary stress. Let’s smiling!

The “Past Tense” Issue

Though this is not happened as often as before, “it” keeps being issue for me at the moment. To be honest, I keep struggling upon “it”. Realizing that “it” is just a ‘past tense” and memorizing “it” is definitely has no good impacts or advantages, I decided to step a head, not to recapture “it” anymore. Knowing that forgetting the “past tense” isn’t easy, I don’t sink back in my chair and wait for the time to heal me. Instead of staring blankly into space, I choose to mutter to myself that I can get through this.

I keep struggling on thinking about the “present and future tense” only. I try hard to keep moving. Emm… I’m moving forward for one reason “I wanna be happy”. I promise to myself that I won’t let any distractions take away the spirit that burn inside me. That’s why everyday I try so hard to keep fueling my dreams. Though, I need a little time to learn even more, I promise to pass it soon. Just let me do it in my own!